Hey look I yoinked another random tumblr post.
Not a lot of people are falling over themselves to be friends with Thor. They want to meet him, sure, get a picture of him, but anything beyond that seems beyond the reach of most people. Maybe it’s that he simply comes off as so out of place in the normal world, with his booming…
- shrek's kid: dad... i'm... i'm gay
- shrek: well, better out than in, i always say, eh? heheheheh someBODY ONCE
typhoidmeri said: Who do you think was the first person Steve Rick Rolled?
Steve discovers Roll Rolling one night while working through the list of music recommendations Sam and Natasha had given him. At first he thinks it’s a random ad popping up in the middle of the music video. Then he reads the comments. Nearly every one involves swearing and the term ‘Rick Roll’d.’ Google, as always, is unbelievably helpful and Steve laughs out loud to himself upon reading the Wiki page.
Sam is first.
Steve: Otis Redding is terrific - thanks for the recommendation. Found one you might like. Let me know what you think.
He pastes the link into the text before hitting send. He smirks and waits.
Sam: Steve Rogers, you Rick Rollin’ sonofabitch! Dammit, man. Who knew Captain America was such a troll?
Steve’s sharp bark of laughter echoes off the walls.
Steve: On your left
Sam: You’re an asshole
Sam: Fifty bucks says you can’t get everyone else
Steve: I won’t feel bad taking your money, you know?
Sam: That’s why you’re an asshole.
IDEK you guise.
Steve: Hey, Clint, thanks for the movie recommendations. Pretty in Pink was great. I liked this one too.
Steve carefully pastes the link in and presses send without a moment of regret. He tosses his phone on the counter and opens the fridge. Halfway through making a pile of sandwiches his phone vibrates on the counter.
Clint: U rick rolled me.
Steve: Sorry, pal.
Clint: UR an asshole. >:(
Steve snorts and screencaps the texts.
Steve: one down.
He attaches the picture and sends it to Sam, laughing to himself as he pulls a carton of milk from the fridge.
Sam: Why am I friends with you?
Steve: My senior citizen’s discount.
Natasha doesn’t reply. Steve hasn’t heard anything from her in three days, so he assumes she’s off somewhere on the other side of the world kicking ass and taking names.
He’s walking back to his place one night with a couple of large pizzas, listening to the 60s mix Sam made for him when a little blur of red and black lunges at him from the shadows. His attacker sweeps his legs out from under him and knocks him to the ground. He’s prepared to spring to the defense when he sees it’s Natasha. Steve’s laugh is cut short when she presses a pointed heel against his throat. “Dammit, Nat! You made me drop my pizzas. What the hell?”
She presses her heel a fraction closer and breathing becomes difficult.
Natasha eyes him coolly with her arms crossed against her chest. ”I’ve had motherfucking Rick Astley in my head for three days now, you little shithead.”
Steve snorts and immediately regrets it.
Natasha kicks him in the ribs before offering a hand to help him off the ground.
"Share your pizza and let’s figure out how you’re going to get Stark."
(Natasha is having exactly none of your shit, Steve.)
Despite what Tony thinks, Thor has no trouble with Midgardian technology. Humor, yes, but technology no. Steve sends Thor an email, swipes his iPod off the desk and goes out for a run, listening to the 70s mix Sam made him.
unknown number: I hate you.
Steve: Excuse me, I think you have the wrong number.
unknown number: I have the right number, Captain Rogers. Thor has not stopped singing all day.
Steve: I’m sorry, Dr. Foster.
Dr. Foster: No, you’re not. ヽ(ಠ_ಠ)ノ
No, he really wasn’t.
Steve finds an acoustic version, heavy on the sitar, of Rick Astley’s notorious hit and asks JARVIS to play it the next time Bruce plays his tea time music.
Two days later they learn that Hulk can’t sing but he can hum. Rather soulfully, he thinks as he sends a video clip to Sam.
Sam: You fucker, Rogers.
Steve: Five down. One to go.
Sam: Good luck with that one, asshole.
Steve: Better have my money ready, Wilson.
(Thor enjoys Midgardian folk tales sung in chanted verse)
Tony is the hardest by far. Steve brings pizza and vodka with him when he visits Natasha, and Clint is there too as a happy accident. He bounces ideas off them and everything he can think of just isn’t enough. They break for the night and he retires to his apartment.
He almost considers giving in to Sam when Tony gives him the answer unknowingly.
Steve is sitting on one of the stools in Tony’s workshop, drawing the Suit (which Tony was tickled over), when DUM-E beeps and nudges his arm. Steve grins and takes the washer they’d been using for ‘fetch’ while Tony mutters to himself and looks over the damage Steve’s body armor had sustained.
(“It’s impossible!” He’d wailed, looking at the large gashes in the fabric.
"Tell that to my stomach," Steve had replied from the hospital bed where his skin slowly stitched itself back together under the bandages.)
"Hey, Tony." Steve lightly tosses the washer like an extra-small frisbee across the workshop. "Is DUM-E limited to just beeps?"
"No, he has proper speakers, he just refuses to use them for anything else. He doesn’t have the AI functionality of JARVIS. He’s like a baby. A really old baby. Or the mute eldest brother."
Steve smiles brightly when DUM-E comes back with the washer.
It’s really easy to get the song onto his iPod.
It’s almost easier to get the iPod hooked up to DUM-E and get him to push the ‘play’ button once Tony had settled in.
The entire team watches through the (thankfully soundproof) glass wall as Tony shouts and chases DUM-E around his workshop.
Steve: Did it.
Sam: Pics or it didn’t happen.
Steve steps into the workshop and records the song playing as DUM-E zips around, Tony chasing him. It sends it to Sam who doesn’t reply for ten minutes.
Sam: I’m paying you in beer. BECAUSE you can’t get drunk. Asshole.
Steve: That’s Captain Asshole to you.
BEST ENDING OF ALL TIME AMG
Slaps this onto blog.
This is the greatest thing ever to exist
Now I want to know how Steve bagged Hill, Pepper, and Agent 13.
i dont get offended at white people jokes even though im white because:
- i can recognize white people as a whole have systemically oppressed POC in america, which is where i live
- most people when they make white people jokes only mean the shitty white people and i am not a shitty white person
- im not a pissbaby
my white friends that have reblogged this give me life
god dang i am on fire tonight
no u r not u make this up for note
bet u feel real stupid right now
thank god eyebrows grow back bc i fucked up big time: an autobiography
Anonymous said: You seem to really not like DashCon. Is it, like, the worst-of-the-worst con? (I really don't know, the only ones I properly know of are ones like SDCC and NYCC)
DashCon is a first-year fandom convention for Tumblr users. It is happening this weekend and turning into possibly the largest convention kerfuffle anyone has ever seen.
- Due to the DashCon staff done diddly goofin’ by not putting a payment schedule in their hotel reservation contract, they were asked to pay $20,000 by 10 PM last night or the convention would be kicked out of the hotel. They asked attendees and Tumblr users to donate $17,000 via PayPal and cash to keep the con going - and they supposedly raised all of the money. Con attendees then piled into the ballroom to do Mockingjay salutes and wail Freddie Mercury songs to celebrate them falling for what is suspected to be a scam (as people have contacted the hotel to ask about this “$17,000 fee” and the hotel reportedly has no idea what they’re talking about).
- You can attend wonderfully informative panels like this at DashCon:
- DashCon claimed there would be 3,000-7,000 attendees. There are 1,000 at most and all of them are white kids in flower crowns who are rioting for the anti-sexualization of women in media while simultaneously running panels about “homoerotic subtext in fandoms and finding the gay ships for YOUR fandoms!!!”
- The con didn’t have the money to cover WTNV’s transportation and performance fees. When WTNV asked them to pay the remainder of their performance fee prior to the panel beginning, DashCon was unable to do so, and WTNV walked out as they are positively free to do because what the fuck you don’t invite keystone guests if you aren’t able to pay their fees upfront (and showing them your PayPal balance on a smartphone absolutely does not count).
- It’s being speculated that Steam Powered Giraffe was not even booked properly in the first place.
- A full weekend badge was $65 dollars for a first-year fandom con jesus christ that’s almost the price of most full-fledged comic cons.
The list continues but so far it’s only the con’s second day and it is quite literally the most dramatic, hysterically cringe-worthy convention debacle I have ever seen unfold.
Adding some updates as of 7/12 at 7:35 PM EST:
- The game room consists of some tables, one TV, and one gaming console. No, really, that’s it.
- DashCon proves they have possibly the worst PR team ever when addressing the WTNV cancellation. Instead of clearly explaining the situation, they say they “don’t want to get into it,” and then offer compensation for those who bought advanced seating tickets for the Night Vale show. What’s the compensation? An extra hour playing in the ball pit (which is really just a slowly-deflating children’s pool with some balls in it). Oh, and if there’s room, you may get one of the first-come-first-serve spots at the Time Crash concert happening tonight. Huzzah!
- Most panels are completely disorganized. The “Name That Anime” panel was even handing out hotel mints as prizes for correctly answering questions like “what’s the anime where they fight with clothes!!!”
- This still needs verification, but supposedly there are minors being let into the 18+ panels (like “BDSM 101”), which DashCon could easily get sued for allowing. Not that they have the money for it.
- It’s been pointed out that as a Marriott hotel, the Renaissance would have required them to submit their full reservation payment 5 days in advance of the event. Therefore it’s very, very likely that the “$17,000 fundraising” was a huge scam. Because DashCon would’ve had to pay that money 5 days before this weekend or the event wouldn’t even be happening in the first place.
- Furthermore, someone attempted to debunk the letter that DashCon posted to prove that the hotel asked for money. Not all their points are valid (i.e. “RE:” is commonly used for “Regarding”, not just in response to previous communication, and idk but this dude doesn’t strike me as an expert on internal Marriott stationary), but frankly the letter looks sketchy if only because
17000%99% of it is whited out. Is it real? Is it fake? We just don’t know.
- There has been no confirmation that the money donated in cash and via PayPal last night ever made it to the hotel (if that was indeed where it was intended to go).
- People are demanding full or at least partial refunds. Needs verification, but purportedly DashCon has a list at the con where you can sign your name and the amount you donated to be refunded later. Which sounds like a totally effective and not at all easily-abused system.
- Attendees are either in denial saying this is the best con ever or they’re crying and having panic attacks. Welcome to Tumblr.
And as a bonus: DashCon originally ran an IndieGoGo campaign last year to raise $5,000 to start their convention. They raised $4,000. The campaign ended in April 2013 and rewards have still not been sent out (which consisted of tea bags, a couple business cards with your Tumblr URL on them, and if you donated $500+, some knick-knacks from Etsy).
The full story for those wondering what the hell is happening.
my friend is CONVINCED he is the one who brought on post limit. a few years ago he was reblogging a single picture as fast as he could as many times as he could and then the server crashed and ever since then people started hitting a post limit
its his fault we go through this
if you were wondering this is the image
bUT IDK MAN I THINK THERE IS PLENTY OF FUCKIN REASON TO BE UPSET
Bucky + ripping off things
remember how for years everyone used to joke that a tumblrcon would be the single shittiest thing in the world? well now its happened and guess what, we were right
*phone lights up*
me: *hopes its a text from the boy*
Kim K:” Your energy is full!Further your career, go on a date…get famous!”
me: even better